Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
what is it with giant penises always finding me
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.