Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (303)

Last Night in Colorado (303)

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once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.

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oh and he was serious.

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(303): once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir. (303): oh and he was serious. http://tfl.nu/t6g9

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Billy Mays died!

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I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?

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(303): Billy Mays died! (1-303): I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world? http://tfl.nu/rasz

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Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years

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(303): Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years http://tfl.nu/kvc8

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I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses

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(303): I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses http://tfl.nu/qudw

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Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.

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(303): Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina. http://tfl.nu/raau

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There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?

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(303): There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house? http://tfl.nu/bwc7

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I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.

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(303): I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is. http://tfl.nu/uj2o

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normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.

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(303): normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective. http://tfl.nu/9jpo

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I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.

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(303): I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants. http://tfl.nu/0mqu

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It smells like weed.

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We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.

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(303): It smells like weed. (720): We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed. http://tfl.nu/w4bb

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he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.

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(303): he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused. http://tfl.nu/ocgb

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I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.

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Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.

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(970): I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar. (303): Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick. http://tfl.nu/w6wy

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if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head

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(303): if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head http://tfl.nu/px1l

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oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out

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(303): oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out http://tfl.nu/89b7

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I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.

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(303): I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight. http://tfl.nu/0aby

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Last Night in Colorado (303)

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