You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
These Medical Professionals Recall the Worst Cases of Hypochondria They’ve Seen
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working