Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
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We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
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She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.