We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down