I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.