I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
turn off your phone and go to bed
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.