Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
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I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
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What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club