yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.