i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
yeah, it was that bad.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
oh good, I think they're gone
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less