Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.