You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him