Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Colorado (303)

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence

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  (303): And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open? (1-303): That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence http://tfl.nu/qwl7
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.

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  (303): You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you. http://tfl.nu/620d
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks

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  (303): Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks http://tfl.nu/eae4
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?

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  (303): woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night? http://tfl.nu/lo5l
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  and next time when you feel me up, do it right

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  (303): and next time when you feel me up, do it right http://tfl.nu/7fkv
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass

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  (303): i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass http://tfl.nu/z36r
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.

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  (303): Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper. http://tfl.nu/rq4b
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  Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England

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  (303): Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England http://tfl.nu/wgnu
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  he thought i was a dude.

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  (303): he thought i was a dude. http://tfl.nu/9d6g
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free

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  (303): This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free http://tfl.nu/nn6t
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special

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  (303): i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special http://tfl.nu/5558
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown

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  I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.

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  (720): Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown (303): I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself. http://tfl.nu/zmkv
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.

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  (303): I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment. http://tfl.nu/lu2o
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  (805): View more from California

  Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I can be that talented

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  (805 ): Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters (303): I can be that talented http://tfl.nu/rub2
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega

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  (303): Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega http://tfl.nu/145a
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