My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question