THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
Did you just see the Batmobile???
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm an idiot