I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
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BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm an idiot
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.