I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it