Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.