I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
Cake is only good when you eat it
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..