Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?