You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
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She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
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Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.