I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
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She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
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I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.