Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Virginia (703)

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  She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"

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  (703): She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose" http://tfl.nu/hdxg
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  that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis

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  (703): that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis http://tfl.nu/car4
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  I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.

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  (703): I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you. http://tfl.nu/i8ov
  Replies (5) Good night (1277) Bad night (355) Order T-Shirt
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  You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...

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  I didn't know

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  (703): You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday... (410): I didn't know http://tfl.nu/kzg0
  Replies (1) Good night (1389) Bad night (353)
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  yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?

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  (703): yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'? http://tfl.nu/6ned
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  I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.

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  (703): I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM. http://tfl.nu/2ycx
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  I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM

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  (703): I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM http://tfl.nu/jp0v
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  drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.

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  (703): drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things. http://tfl.nu/24x7
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  we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.

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  (703): we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome. http://tfl.nu/tn3b
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  A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?

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  (703): A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall? http://tfl.nu/zs4k
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  You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window

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  (703): You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window http://tfl.nu/usl6
  Replies (2) Good night (1170) Bad night (320)
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  Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.

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  (703): Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic. http://tfl.nu/bmqq
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  I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car

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  (703): I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car http://tfl.nu/t9eq
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  Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.

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  (703): Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck. http://tfl.nu/9cle
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  After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.

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  (703): After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was. http://tfl.nu/omxm
  Replies (1) Good night (1234) Bad night (296)