I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
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In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
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I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.