cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.