Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..