I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet