Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Follow @tfln
Cracked IndieClick Humor