Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There r osticjed everywhere
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.