i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There r osticjed everywhere
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party