Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils