I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on