Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.