I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
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I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
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I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final