It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...