At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
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she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
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Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask