i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I hope my margaritas pass through security.