remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
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Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i dont even know how to be here
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
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all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.