So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.