Sacagawea was the original milf.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina