If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed