we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack