Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings