So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you