Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Wisconsin (920)

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  June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you

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  (920): June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you http://tfl.nu/uk7y
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  Technically my penis started a fight tonight

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  (920): Technically my penis started a fight tonight http://tfl.nu/2ets
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  Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots

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  (920): Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots http://tfl.nu/w4ec
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  I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.

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  (920): I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon. http://tfl.nu/kbkd
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  We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like

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  (920): We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like http://tfl.nu/fep0
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  YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!

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  (920): YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN! http://tfl.nu/7v2u
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  So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate

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  (920): So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate http://tfl.nu/3qfe
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  Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?

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  (920): Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations? http://tfl.nu/lkp9
  Replies (7) Good night (1307) Bad night (348)
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  I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.

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  (920): I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone. http://tfl.nu/uom5
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  Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now

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  (920): Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now http://tfl.nu/chmx
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  Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?

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  Yes and yes

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  (920): Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend? (1-920): Yes and yes http://tfl.nu/cdzo
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  Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.

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  (920): Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be. http://tfl.nu/nyya
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  They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth

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  (920): They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth http://tfl.nu/xkac
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  Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.

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  (920): Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage. http://tfl.nu/b73b
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  Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?

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  (920): Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas? http://tfl.nu/uhrx
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