Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
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If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
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I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.