So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
When are your genitals available?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.