Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".