I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
When are your genitals available?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks