Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I am available for nakedness
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait