I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
And my parents said I crawled through the house