Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (901)

Last Night in Tennessee (901)

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As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...

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(901): As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you... http://tfl.nu/9ceg

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1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man

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1:48 am: your uglier

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(901) 1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man (423) 1:48 am: your uglier http://tfl.nu/ln5v

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If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.

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(901): If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week. http://tfl.nu/qgby

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mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.

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(901): mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again. http://tfl.nu/wn4g

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Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.

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Wow.

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(901): Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered. (760): Wow. http://tfl.nu/1wu1

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pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit

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no

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the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table

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im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE

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(901): pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit (1-901): no (901): the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table (901): im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE http://tfl.nu/q3wo

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You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.

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(901): You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man. http://tfl.nu/5vqn

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oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass

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fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings

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(901): oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass (901): fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings http://tfl.nu/b0u6

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Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.

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(901): Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore. http://tfl.nu/ntw9

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He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.

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(901): He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas. http://tfl.nu/264e

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I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.

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(901): I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus. http://tfl.nu/pp37

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Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......

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(901): Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this...... http://tfl.nu/c0ql

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hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?

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(901): hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn? http://tfl.nu/pzvd

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I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.

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(901): I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism. http://tfl.nu/eczv

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god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.

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(901): god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is. http://tfl.nu/53e5

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Last Night in Tennessee (901)

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