She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.