The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild