I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.