He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
19 Totally Clueless People That’ll Make You Say ‘Bless Your Heart’
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
30 Times Ryan Reynolds’ Replies Were The Funniest Thing On Twitter
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.