The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever