Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
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I could fuck to npr.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive