Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I could fuck to npr.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive