I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.