anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
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how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.