We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"