But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..