Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
so he's a sleeptalker.
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.