Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ontario (647)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I'm always drunk lately

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): I'm always drunk lately (647): Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears http://tfl.nu/384i
  Replies (3) Good night (1037) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money http://tfl.nu/kbmq
  Replies (10) Good night (616) Bad night (1365)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Why Weren't you wearing pants?

  (647): View more from Ontario

  because pants are for people with no imagination

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Why Weren't you wearing pants? (647): because pants are for people with no imagination http://tfl.nu/baiz
  Replies (6) Good night (2214) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday. http://tfl.nu/lj8p
  Replies (8) Good night (1548) Bad night (352) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with. http://tfl.nu/g52q
  Replies (8) Good night (711) Bad night (1189) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon http://tfl.nu/dflk
  Replies (2) Good night (411) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again. http://tfl.nu/e5f9
  Replies (4) Good night (365) Bad night (1068) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back. http://tfl.nu/pcjm
  Replies (7) Good night (1188) Bad night (516) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  He was the one that got away. From my vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): He was the one that got away. From my vagina. http://tfl.nu/504c
  Replies (8) Good night (1385) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night. http://tfl.nu/q0pz
  Replies (2) Good night (936) Bad night (385) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus. http://tfl.nu/lyxj
  Replies (6) Good night (465) Bad night (1397) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer http://tfl.nu/wxzh
  Replies (3) Good night (1097) Bad night (451) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does. http://tfl.nu/q7vv
  Replies (9) Good night (1356) Bad night (389) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat. http://tfl.nu/9m2y
  Replies (3) Good night (684) Bad night (433) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole. http://tfl.nu/34zc
  Replies (2) Good night (1319) Bad night (378)