Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"