It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.