I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated