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Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
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